I recently wrote a text on narcissism. What I discovered told me so much about myself and others. In essence, we're all narcissistic in a different way. There are 7 categories of narcissism and they have separate values and meanings. We can call those "dimensions of narcissism". First, let's just get into narcissism in general and why it matters.
I'm outgoing and sociable but it's become impossible to get a date. I've gotten so many fake numbers, fake social media profiles and the like, cold approach just isn't working. The amount of effort I have to put in doesn't produce an appreciable result. It's like women intentionally toy with me. Why are they doing this?
I recently read about narcissism and it all made sense. Modern women fit the model of a clinical narcissist flawlessly: obsession with self, inflated sense of value, arrogance and lack of interest in a long-term relationship. A narcissist tears others down to make herself feel good and asks for infinite affirmation. If you've spent any time with a modern woman, you know she's doing both 24/7. They repeat the myth of Narcissus to a T.
The very myth of Narcissus had him stare at his own reflection in the pond, ignoring a real women that pined for him. Modern women reversed the roles – they take selfies, post them on social media and stare at them like Narcissus. Psychologists already noticed this and have started investigating modern narcissism, which they call "sub-clinical". It's become so pervasive that it's not even considered a problem.
There's the rub, because as a man, you know it is a problem and such people are unlovable and insufferable, but they're everywhere around you. You're meant to respond with enough narcissism of your own to avoid getting hurt in contact with a narcissistic woman. Basically, to adapt you have to become selfish, with grandiose ideas, exploitative, myopic and a short-term thinker. In short, an "alpha man". It goes contrary to everything how I thought the world works, but it appears that's what has to be done to have even the slightest chance of having a relationship. If you're still doubting me, I'll let Freud say a couple words.
In 1957, Sigmund Freud published a study titled "On narcissism: An introduction". This should be obligatory read for every man. The study says the term narcissism arose in 1899. as a description of someone who loves his or her own body to the point of getting complete sexual satisfaction out of it. Subsequently, many other mental disorders were found to have narcissistic traits, such as homosexuality.
According to Freud, mental disorders typically have two core components – megalomania and detachment from reality, the latter of which means the disorder "cannot be cured by our efforts". By deciphering all mental illnesses in terms of sexual satisfaction detached from reality and diverted to feed the ego, which leads to megalomania, narcissism can be defined as an attempt to get back to reality. In other words, narcissism tries to bridge the gap between others and self. Freud also adds narcissism exists as hidden or primary and apparent or secondary.
I think it's impossible to correct a narcissist. I've met plenty of them and, based off of what my family has been exhibiting, I've lived with them for decades. Over time, they just get worse and worse. In my opinion, there are plenty of psychologists who are equipped and willing to deal with narcissists.