Playing is an innate, essential activity that we relish as children but forget as adults. In early 2020, I got the idea to try focusing my mental power on figuring out new ways to play. It turned out play is what makes us bond with one another.
I used to have a lot of gloomy, dreary thoughts. They revolved around an impending sense of doom, the feeling that the world is about to end through no fault of and despite the best efforts of my own. I couldn't shake off these feelings but I luckily didn't descend into drinking or drug use to keep them at bay. Instead, I resorted to self-analysis.
By observing and articulating myself, I eventually reached some actionable principles. You're reading about one of them right now – dedicate most of my mental power to play instead of expecting doom. Applied for just a couple days, this principle has shown some tremendous results that led me to believe regular play is as essential to mental health as regular breaths to bodily.
The mentality that is the most conducive to play is one of relaxed awareness, like that of a cat chilling and purring but ready to pounce straight away. I actually discovered the play mentality prepared me for unusual situations that would normally leave me frozen and speechless. Instead of doubling down my way through some occasions or engaging in wishful thinking, I'd actually have fun and enjoy whatever was happening at a minimal energy and resource investment.
Even cursory tries of play in random situations resulted in superb experiences where I felt both relaxed and in control. Life, as it were, was unfolding in front of me and I was there to simply provide a gentle touch and make sure it unfolded smoothly. It felt – real. It felt like a relationship built on play would be the most astounding experience ever. Now that's a theory I have to test out and report on, my dear reader, turning academic theory into lived enjoyment.
Play is impossible in a setting where you have no privacy. Playing is such a delicate, nuanced activity that it requires willing participants who will keep a secret and engage in play away from the public eye. When the other participants are of the opposite gender, suddenly there are spicy possibilities that open up due to the gender friction. I'm sorry, genderfluid readers, but without the friction created by the polar opposites of man/woman, play is dull and trite.
Whenever sex "just happened", it happened because there was play preceding it. With random body touches, glances and proximity those involve, sex actually becomes inevitable rather than uncertain and something to struggle for, a shared play experience that stems from a mutual understanding. By constantly planning to play and then letting it play out spontaneously, we invite all sorts of good stuff in our environment.
Every act of play has its rules, which are willingly accepted by all participants. Without rules, the play becomes too random and invites arguments, which then attract attention from non-participants. Rules can be set by one or more participants but it's always done before the play begins, not during. Anyone trying to set the rules during play might have an agenda that might not be conducive to the play mindset.
Once a shared understanding is reached, all participants start building their own experience of the world, with enjoyment that is inviolable and survives decades. Slight body gestures, such as eyeball and eyebrow movements, are enough to communicate with other participants in play and prolong the play. As the experience keeps getting shared, participants create a unique bond that persists through years or decades. If there's any chance of people building a bond that survives death to reconnect them in another life, then play is how we create it.
My gloomy, dreary thoughts were actually just an act of play that somehow got stuck in my head and I was running it on repeat. The more I engaged in play in the outside world, the less I was involved in repeating the same old thoughts that were plaguing me for so long. The experience is very hard to describe and words betray me at this point.
All my successes came about through play, a relaxed state of alert environment engagement. Play is something I can't explain fully but I can fully recommend. Play is the quintessential component of mental health, the feeling of joy and how we bond with other people to create our own shared universe. Are you still reading this? Go out and play.