How do you find the right kind of person to spend time with, not just when it comes to making a family but any kind of person for any kind of activity? The gist of an ideal relationship is one where all involved parties learn together and the growth continues indefinitely. This would mean they're all having at least some common interests, ideals and daily goals but also that they're near one another in both physical and emotional sense.
The key word for a successful relationship is proximity; the more ways parties can find to become closer to one another, the stronger their bond. Time does weaken any relationship but in theory a sufficiently tight bond would survive regardless of time or outside forces. Obviously, those who are obsessed with physicality would want to make any relationship physical as soon as possible, while those who have trouble with touching and being touched would tend to make everything abstract but a healthy relationship would have a mix of both. We all need cuddling and praise to feel interested in the other person.
There can also be a certain dose of disagreement, which isn't necessarily bad. By not agreeing on everything, we get a chance to mix things up. For example, I once met a girl obsessed with junk food and energy drinks while I was equally obsessed with health food. I offered her some cinnamon, just so she can taste it; she offered me a gulp of her energy drink. Neither of us was willing to try what appeared alien. Now what? We're both stuck in our paradigms. I suggested pouring some cinnamon and energy drink into a cup so we both drink it 50-50. It actually tasted great, because cinnamon that typically doesn't dissolve in liquids was completely dissolved thanks to the bubbly nature of her energy drink. I thought the mix tasted great and she agreed.
All of this applies to working in any capacity. I noticed that having cool new tools for writing is what makes me excited to write. Even when it comes to such a simple activity as writing, investing or having my client invest in my tools makes me inspired to do better. Ideally, your employer will invest in you so you're motivated to show up eager to work and feel a sense of accomplishment after you're done. We can't stagnate, no matter what it is we're doing.
To me, the idea of an employer investing most of his profits back into his employees sounds like the most logical way to create a productive workforce, yet no employers do it and actually break off cont(r)act when the possibility is suggested. In fact, employers will even bring up the notion of installing robots and AI (which won't be that independent) rather than invest in employees, just to keep people huddled in fear. If I ever get to create a business, I'll be pushing everything I've got back into my employees, because that's the surest way to have them stick around. To me, making money will be a side-effect; the real benefit of a business is the ability to help people become productive, independent and curious.
When signing up for a job, it's completely backwards to try and prove yourself through a series of grueling interviews – your potential employer should be proving himself to you. You're the one who contributes value to the company, so it's logical that you should be the choosy one but that's not how employee-employer relationships work today.
In a May 14, 2019 article titled "I turned my interview task for Google into a startup", Andrew Burton retells how he went through the infamous Google interview process, where a graphic designer is given a task of basically creating a viable startup product for Google over the weekend for free. Keep in mind, this is just to get a job working at Google. Andrew eventually realized he's got more than enough ambition and creativity to start out on his own; why would he need an employer? Andrew is certainly an outlier because I'd imagine the gravitational pull of Google is enough to convince employees to work for free.
I wrote a page on how companies need a workforce of downtrodden, demoralized workers and consumers who have to believe the gleaming company logo holds salvation. That's exactly what it was with Andrew too – demoralization. In the case of tech giants, we also have the problem of unchecked growth, where they consume and overtake all digital means of communication to become a black hole where all creativity and passion go to die.
Being dominant or dominated in a relationship is never healthy. In the long run, this kind of relationship has to disintegrate. We grow, whether we want it or not, so make that growth directed. You'll immediately know if the relationship you're in is worth fighting for. Pay attention to whether you feel inspired and just move towards whatever it is that inspires you.